Warmth
by Briar N-Chant
Summary: All Cedar wants is to feel warmth against her skin, she thinks of what her friends get to feel due to being 'real' and wishes she could feel the same. Rated T for slight mature ideas, there is a hint of Darise in here but other than that, this is Cedar-centric.


I can't sleep and this popped into my head and I feel horrible for writing it (because it's so sad) but, you can't say that I don't bring up a valid point. I don't own EAH and this is deeply based in head-canon land in regards to Cedar Wood. Again, can't say I don't bring up a valid point, this is rated T for brief mention of sex, but there is nothing uber lemony here so, enjoy the angst-ridden sadness. Oh and there is brief mention of Darise, I can't help it, it's my ship and well, if they were together and hiding it, I doubt it'd stay secret forever. Still, enjoy.

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Cedar shifted in her sleep. She turned away from the wall and they lay on her stomach to face her headboard when she felt tears swimming in her eyes. In an attempt to blink them back, they fell and she half buried her face into her pillow. She turned her head to see Cerise's well-made bed on the other side of the room.

Her hood-wearing roommate had left for the weekend to go and spend time with Daring Charming, her boyfriend. They were sure to be doing couple things...

Couple things meant kissing, hugging, holding one another and oh yeah, having sex.

It was no secret that Cedar's friends who were in relationships had sex. She knew that, their peers knew that and for the love of fairytales, she knew that some students who weren't even in relationships engaged in sexual activities.

Not that she was itching to be playing that game of hit and miss but, having the option would be nice...

She just wanted to be able to feel someone's warmth against her.

Whether it be from holding hands, a loving embrace, or even being joined together as one.

Those were all just thoughts right now, things that could not be part of her immediate reality.

Royals had become Rebels, destinies had been chosen, old fairytales were being regarded as ancient history as they should be but, she was still cursed.

All Cedar wanted was to be a real girl.

To have smooth skin, to compare the feel of different materials in grasp, to know what her friends felt when they had to ice their skin after a burn, to understand what made it hurt and how the healing of skin happened in general.

Well, she had her hair, her eyes, her insides and those weren't 'puppet parts' But, that was just it.

She was some human pieces here and more puppet pieces there.

Plus, what did her hair really feel like? She knew it had texture, that is was curly and voluminous, but, would she actually enjoy the texture of her hair if it was thick? Or would she complain that she would prefer having thinner and hair that was easier to manage in the same way that she heard other girls around school complain?

Honestly, she couldn't even begin to fathom what she would do simply because she didn't know what either felt like. Everything felt the same up against her wooden fingers.

However, Cedar wanted nothing more than to be feel warmth.

To feel that trust when it came to interlocking fingers for the first time while holding hands, to linger in one's arms after hugging, and to lay beside one another in a puff of exhaustion when bedroom shenanigans had run their course.

Another sigh escaped the wooden girl.

Every scenario that involved some kind of bodily contact, even if it was minimal, was sure to be amazing. Her friends might be taking such a thing for granted but she knew that if and when she finally did get her chance to be a real girl, she never would.

At this rate, maybe she'd be a real woman by the time all of this curse nonsense was over.

If she could, she would trade anything to feel warmth, even for just one moment. But, she couldn't very well do such a thing, could she?

Forcing her eyes shut, Cedar dreamt of a world where she got a Happily Ever After that involved speaking her own mind all the time, not being forced to lie or tell the truth if she didn't want to and where she was fully human. Where her hair would blow in the wind, the sun would kiss her skin and she could pluck the petals from flowers and feel if they were soft and smooth and could compare the feel of these different flower petals. Surely, no two would feel the same.

But, for now, these thoughts had to remain a distant dream.

The day she would feel warmth would come in due time...wouldn't it?

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_**A/N: I'm a jerk for ending this the way I did, aren't I? Well, my reasons for that is because of how uncertain everything in EAH seems right now, at least to a point. Also, I apologize for not updating my other EAH fic (Didn't We Almost Have It All), but, it's roughly finals time at my college and I have very little free time that I don't spend napping and don't fret, Didn't We Almost Have It All will be updated as soon as I'm able to update it and it will be a very well worth update, hope this is decent enough to **_**_hold you over._**


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